Why didn't I say this?

 It's about 12am and for some reason all of the things I should've said that night just came to me. I have to admit I was a nervous git that night and when I get nervous I lose focus and my mind just goes everywhere; especially that night. That night I was definitely all over the place. 

But I might as well just get to what I was supposed to say that night in a more coherent tone. I am just absolutely head over heels for you, I don't know how else to put it. There is no better to spend my time than to just sit down and talk to you, that's the truth. Honestly, before you left I was debating whether or not to tell you this and I didn't. And it hurt. Let me tell ya, trying to think about the "what if's" isn't the best thing in the world. Now that you're here I can't hold these feelings back. Maybe I'm saying this because I'm afraid of being disconnected from you once again, but what I do know is that I'm saying this because I can't stand not being able to let you know how I feel about you. I'm crazy about you and there's just no one else I would rather be with at the moment...

Why am I saying this and on my blog of all things? I would tell you personally but you're gone now, doubt you would answer a text of this kind, and I don't know if you would even answer a call from me. But I think I've mentioned my blog to you once already and a very small part of me thinks you'll stumble upon this some time soon. But what are the chances you would? What is distance anyway? I don't care that you're over half a country away, just hearing your voice is like having you here in person...I just hope you'll be able to read this. And if you don't well at least I tried 

Yours Truly, 

Mike